Musee d'Orsay - Paris
A long time ago I decided that I just couldn't do the 12th of June this year. Of all the anniversary's to endure, the day that marked the passing of a full year without Shane seemed as though it would be too much to bear. Although I suspect we should feel empowered by the knowledge that we have made it this far, it is much easier to lament that so much time has passed since life was good, and to feel a sense of ignominy that despite not wanting to, we have been able to live without him. It has been a long and overwhelming battle, each day suffering the countless moments in which our hearts shatter over all that has been lost, surrounded by an infinite emptiness which is only just beginning to feel like home. But in spite of needing to adapt to this space alone, we have still learnt to carry each other, if not forward, at least to linger stationarily so to avoid falling in to the abyss. We have kept going despite all feelings to the contrary, and while our motivation may simply have been fear of what to do should we fall, there is comfort in knowing we remain capable of basic function, however mechanical it may now be. And we have learnt to wear our masks – to hide behind when we don't want to be asked, to control what we need to release, allow ourselves to break when no one is watching, and to protect what we fear is too fragile to yet share.
My approach for avoiding this occasion was simple – to undertake something I'd never done before, with many distractions, and as far from here as humanly possible – and was easily achieved in the form of a European holiday. The delightful Miss Rose happily accompanied me on my journey through Berlin and Paris, and delivered me to London and the well organised and entertaining hands of my wonderful sister and her partner. So I am afraid you will have to endure as we momentarily transition towards a travel-focussed blog. I shall endeavour to keep the content foodie in nature, and will save photos of my travelling adventures for another occasion. I am not an overly happy snapper, as I strongly believe that for so many things it is important to experience them for yourself, and not through someone else's photos (or indeed a camera lens). If you are interested in flicking through my digital mementos, meet me for coffee sometime so you know that that, at the least, will be bearable.
Over the next short while I will post our adventures in city by city installments - a three-part series featuring a German-inspired TPB baking dedication, our comprehensive analysis of Parisian macarons, and some recommendations for certain London epicurean visitations should you ever be in the neighbourhood. So stay tuned, good luck, and let the adventures begin...